FUTILE
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Futile.ch is a useless and absurd website... A place to waste time... but with style! By Frédéric (Fred) Eltschinger – Fribourg – Switzerland `Marathon started. No audience, no medal.`, `Welcome to the most useless adventure of your day.`, `Mission: go deeper than the Titanic.`, `You scroll better than the world average.`, `Eco-friendly site: we recycle your time.`, `It’s like Instagram... without the influencers and useless posts!`, `Your scroll is so smooth it should be sponsored.`, `Close your eyes. There, same thing.`, `Your physiotherapist thanks you in advance for this future contract.`, `Your mouse wheel just earned its black belt.`, `Further? Really? Do you think there’s a treasure?`, `This page is about to file a harassment complaint.`, `Next step: 1 km?`, `Congrats: your mouse wheel just lost 1% of its lifespan.`, `Progress: mediocre – Motivation: impressive.`, `Keep going and you’ll run into Jules Verne.`, `You just beat your personal record!`, `Warning: high risk of chronic scrollitis.`, `Did you just find a purpose in this charade?`, `Pro tip: the bottom of the page doesn’t exist.`, `Your ancestors would be proud… or worried.`, `You could almost get paid for this… but no.`, `Achievement unlocked: useless perseverance.`, `You scroll so well it should be an Olympic sport.`, `PERFECT! Ideal pace!`, `Your fingerprints are starting to fade.`, `You’ve entered the legendary scroll zone.`, `Time invested: way too much.`, `At this point, you should receive a loyalty card.`, `Perfect technique, zero strategy.`, `You are now officially ranked *couch athlete expert level*.`, `Achievement unlocked: “superfluous.”`, `Your performance is now being studied at Harvard.`, `Hydration break for your thumb.`, `This scroll is not sponsored by Red Bull.`, `Congrats! You’ve joined the exclusive club of motionless travelers.`, `You scroll so well you could almost teach it.`, `It’s a sport without the sweat.`, `Your scroll just triggered a seismic alert.`, `The void thanks you for your perseverance.`, `One more scroll and you reach level 99.`, `The end of the Internet is 42 km away. Good luck.`, `Your scroll has just been declared intangible heritage.`, `You just missed something… nah, just kidding.`, `Excessive scrolling detected: pixels are starting to panic.`, `Breaking News: your mouse wheel is aiming for the Olympics.`, `Don’t stop, the void is cheering you on.`, `Background noise: *scroll scroll*.`, `You’ve reached the limit… oh wait, it goes even lower!`, `Congrats: you’re writing history… in tiny letters.`, `According to a study, you ARE the study.`, `Apparently, at 10 km, you get a free imaginary sticker.`, `Even your screen doesn’t understand what you’re looking for.`, `You’ve reached legendary level: scroll master.`, `You’re going too fast, it’s about to overheat.`, `The void really suits your complexion.`, `You’ve just reached a level never seen before: +∞.`, `Just a bit further and you’ll enter the 5th dimension.`, `Level achieved: professional futility.`, `Tip: it also works with your eyes closed.`, `You’ve just crossed the limit of human patience.`, `Further down, there’s only absolute emptiness.`, `You’re becoming an urban legend.`, `NASA is observing your scroll with interest.`, `It’s official: you’re the world champion of uselessness.`, `You scroll so deep it feels like a submarine expedition.`, `Certificate of absurdity: validated.`, `At this point, your finger deserves its own biography.`, `Here, I personally congratulate you! Signed: The site’s creator.`, `This site was never designed for such perseverance.`, `Wow! You just scrolled all the way to the end of the punchline stock!`
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